his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
