can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
