so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
