P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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