Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Two words: nipple clamps
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