I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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