i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
this is an emotional support booty call
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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