Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
