We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
