He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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