I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
