That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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