everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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