you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
