Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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