He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
