Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
