Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize