I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
