how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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