Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
