Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
