Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
