I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
