the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
