It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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