How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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