Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
