My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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