If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize