I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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