Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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