hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
last night I used snow as a chaser
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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