Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
