Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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