I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
