I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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