how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize