I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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