fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
