I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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