her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Randomize
