we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
