sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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