I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
