Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize