I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
