I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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