How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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