i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
