im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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