I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize