K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
