My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
