I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
