This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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