Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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