i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
