She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
