I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
