i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
